1) People who use the off ramp lane to cut ahead of you in traffic - What the fuck is your problem? Where is it that's so important you have to be by weaving in and out of traffic like a psychopath? In the meantime you put my fucking life in danger to shave two and a half nanoseconds. Ridiculous.
2) People who treat the next big game system like it's the second coming of Christ - You seen these videos of people rioting to get a stupid Playstation 3? People getting trampled, even shot in some instances? Goddamn people, it's a fucking GAME SYSTEM! You play fucking video games on it! It's not like your heart is gonna explode if you don't get one at 12:01 a.m. on fucking release day! They'll have some more next week, chill the fuck out already. God people are stupid.
3) People who take too much damn salsa - You've seen these assholes, you go into a Baja Fresh or other Mexican-type restaurant where they have the salsa bar and there's always some gluttonous bastard who has to take like 17 cups of the shit. You gonna eat that all yourself you fat fuck? Look, I know they're giving the stuff away free but Jesus people, don't fucking over do it. Same thing when people take all the sugar and Equal packets at a burger joint. It's not like salt and sugar are precious fucking commodities. Do you people even use this stuff? Or are you taking it just to be an asshole? Why do people do shit like this, because it's "Free?" Next person I see filling up a Sparklets bottle with free salsa gets a free foot in their ass.
4) Ann Coulter - Do people actually take this dried up cuntbag seriously? First time I heard of her was a few years ago in connection to an article where someone witnessed a practice run by terrorists in an airplane, apparently there were men getting up and assembling a bomb in the bathroom. Too bad the whole story turned out to be complete bullshit but it did get her on the media map for real. Now she's become yet another right-wing bag of wacky nuts, always shouting how "liberals" are destroying our democracy. After the last election in which the Republicans got ass-stomped this woman advocated bringing back the poll tax. Yeah that's democracy for ya.
5) DVDs that don't say they are full screen on the front cover - You buy a brand spanking new copy of some cool movie you've wanted to see for a long time only to get it home and find out it's been given the fucking pan-and-scan treatment. It cuts off half the damn screen, when I pay $19.95 for a new damn movie I expect to see the whole fucking thing. Why are they still making movies like this? Because some old lady out there is too cheap to buy a new TV? So I gotta suffer because of one small segment of the population that is afraid to adapt to new technology? Then you try to take it back to the store but they refuse to exchange it because it's an open item. Fucking bullshit.
6) When the girl you used to love a few years ago and who you thought really loved you but moved off to northern California with another guy dumps her fiance, but stays in northern California while her Ex moves back to your town instead of the other way around - Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself. It just sucks.
7) People who think Star Wars is real: It's a movie people, it's make believe, it's not real life. Just because you walk around in a robe doesn't mean the government has to officially recognize you as a Jedi. Sad thing is I'm not making this shit up.
8) When you accidently cut a tonail just a little too deep - Ouch.
9) When some greedy fucking asshole drinks all the coffee in the break room and doesn't make any more - I now work in an office for a fortune 500 company (in the lowest paid position there is, but what the hell. At least I'm not slinging a cash register anymore.) Like most offices for companies that are not completely evil they supply free coffee for their subjects. But without fail at 9:00 every morning somebody drinks all of the fucking coffee and just leaves the empty pot sizzling there. How much time does it take to throw a new pot of coffee on? Like two and a half seconds. Have some common decency, the stupid end of the month reports can wait. I cannot function in this corporate hellhole job without a steady supply of liquid stimulant. Not only that, they also leave sugar and coffee creamer all over the counter. Clean that shit up dammit! If you leave sugar laying around we're gonna get ANTS up in here!
10) Sony, the entire fucking company and everyone in it - Last year I said Fuck Sony because they gave us a raw deal with the PSP. Now it seems Sony is full of so many greedy fucking scumbags they just sued small time Hong Kong importer Lik-Sang out of existence. I just happened to be a Lik-Sang affiliate. So in addition to making them look like assholes, Sony shutting them down has also personally cost me money in lost referrals and time as now I have to remove all the affiliate links from my pages. Thanks a lot fucking Sony. Let me show you how much I care by buying the new Nintendo system instead of your overpriced piece of shit this Christmas.
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