Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Elections Make You Stupid

It's that time again. Time for you to turn off Halo 3, get up off your fat behind, put down the Kentucky Fried Chicken, and slog your disgusting self down to the school house to choose which thieving slimebag is going to rob us blind for the next four years. I love democracy.

Something I've noticed is that the reduction of the intelligence quotient of hardcore party supporters is directly related to the distance of election day. As that date grows closer people always tend to get stupider, regardless of their political affiliation. But I'm sure I'm not alone when I say as far as "stupid" goes, this election takes the cake.

I make no secret of the fact that I'm a lefty tree hugging pinko liberal, in fact I rather enjoy the label. But just becasue I'm a registered Democrat does not mean I just blindly follow and do what I'm told. Seems to me that liberals in general tend to hold their own people to a higher standard than Conservatives. We actually do things like protest against our own party, unlike the conservatives, who close their ears and vote for whatever sleazebucket that happens to have the big "R" next to their name. Not only that, but it seems that the closer the election gets, the more rediculous the claims conservatives tend to make about the other party.

It's standard procedure in American politics to make up total bullshit about your opponent. The lies and rumors don't actually convince anyone of who to vote for, people usually make up their minds in this regard far in advance of the election. What they do is allow people to justify in their minds as to why they're voting for someone they don't like by demonizing the other person. So you've already decided to vote for candidate A even though he's been busted for fraud and embezzlement, so you bullshit yourself into thinking it's ok by believing some total crap rumor that candidate B is a cannibal who eats babies. Whoever can get more people to bullshit themselves wins the election, that's how these things work.

But this time, oh man... we've entered fantasy land a long time ago. Since we now (thankfully) live in an environment where societal pressures make it taboo to not vote for someone becasue of their race (openly that is,) instead the slime attacks against Obama have taken on a very surreal xenophobic flavor. Here's a few things I've noticed:

- First and foremost, we have the "Obama is a closet Muslim" rumor. In forums and such, people always include his middle name when mentioning him. So it's always "Barrack HUSSIEN Obama," just to reinforce the idea that sometime in ancient fucking history, one of his ancestors might have worshiped the same God as you but in a funny dress five times a day.

- Of course, even though he's a Muslim, that doesn't stop him from having an radical Christian preacher that spouts anti-American things. Guess he's not much of a Muslim in the first place, huh?

By the way, we don't see much in the news about McCain's antisemite preachers, or Sarah Palin's speaking-in-tongues, God-wants-that-oil religious beliefs, do we? I mean we would, if the fucking McCain/Palin campaign would let the newsmedia actually talk to their supporters. So I guess fundamentalism in government is OK as long as it's YOUR fundamentalism?

- We have the "Obama's birth certificate is fake" rumor, even though it's been proved phony people keep bringing it back. I mean come on, does anyone really think the DNC would choose someone who isn't a citizen? Please.

- How about the "Obama cocaine and Gay sex" rumor? So if one jackass on Youtube makes a video, then it's automatically true? Get the fuck out of here.

- Or maybe the "Terrorist Fist Bump" fiasco. Yeah, that's really fair and balanced. What a fucking joke.

- Speaking of Terrorists, what about the "Obama is best buddies with convicted terrorist William C. Ayers" line? Oh yeah, he's really a terrorist. I mean, he was out there with Ayers bombing buildings when he was eight years old. Too bad Ayers is a respected tenured professor and a force in Illinois politics.

This is like saying, oh... I don't know... Bush is a Terrorist becasue he has business ties to the Bin Laden family.

My favorite rumor by far however is the "Obama is the Anti-Christ" line. So now not only are we voting for a secret-cocaine-snorting-radical-Christian except-he's-really-a-Muslim-gay-terrorist, he's also the spawn of Satan himself. Notice how all these dumbasses call him "The Messiah?" Wanna know why they do that? First off, becasue Rush Limbaugh calls him that. No link needed for that, just hit google. Second, it's to capitalize on the anti-Christ figure in Tim Lahay's Left Behind novels. Wow. Just, wow. You would think there couldn't possibly be anyone so fucking stupid as to actually pick this up, but you'd be wrong. Goddamn conservatives eat this shit up.

Yet despite all of these rediculous rumors, as of this writing (10/7/08) Obama is wiping the fucking walls with McCain. In some battleground states some of the polls put him ten or more points ahead. Seems like people are smarter than the GOP whisper campaigns are giving them credit for. One gets the feeling that these heaping helpings of sleaze are starting to backfire, especially when people like your own vice presidential candidate start repeating shit proved to be false nearly a year ago.

Sarah Palin... good gravy covered shitballs, where to start with that woman. I could go into all of the reasons why such a person is so completely not qualified to run our country, but I won't. What I will do is the one thing that other people will not do: Attack her becasue of her religion. That's right, the rest of the lefties are too PC to take this route. But since I'm on a blog with a readership that can be counted on one hand, I will do it for them.

Her religion is the reason she is not qualified to run the country. She's from the far, far right evangelical field. These are the kind of people that believe that any day now the trumpets will sound and suddenly they'll all disappear, leaving just a bundle of clothes behind (I've always thought it funny that heaven is supposed to be one big nudist colony.) She goes to a church that tries to "cure" gay people. She personally believes that Alaska itself will play some pivotal role in the end times.

Because people of her ilk are standing around, waiting for the world to end, that completely justifies in their mind any kind of pollution that commercial exploitation of our natural resources might entail. That's why Sarah Palin doesn't believe in Global warming and why she likes to fly around and shooting wolves and Polar bears from helicopters - becasue according to her, God is going to come back and put everything the way it was, so might as well use it in the meantime. Guess it doesn't matter that there's thousands of three legged frogs running around, or a continent sized Sargasso sea of plastic fucking bottles floating around in the Pacific. God will take care of all that, so go ahead and shoot those endangered red footed falcons. He'll make more when he gets here.

Not that any of these people would even understand the severe environmental damage we're facing, becasue that takes like, an understanding of science where dinosaurs didn't coexist with mankind 4000 years ago.

Most evangelicals blissfully ignore the corruption, fundamentalists, and anti-environment angles and focus on morality. True, she seems on the surface to practice what she preaches, like making her daughter marry the loser who knocked her up. But this shotgun wedding bescumbles the fact that Palin's unwed teenage daughter is having a baby in the first place. To us, the loony lefty liberals, teenage sex is not a big deal. But Palin and her ilk come from the Abstinence only crowd.

So what, may I ask, is her daughter, who by her own beliefs supposed to be celibate, doing with a bun in the oven in the first place? Sounds to me that such people practice that valued American tradition of saying one thing and doing another? Could it be that somebody is full of shit?

What else are these people lying to us about? Here's one - that everybody is responsible for their own financial situation. You know, the ol' "You're poor becasue it's your own fault" routine. This is the excuse they give us to cut funding to things like health clinics, welfare, and education for ghetto children. It's sprung out of some bullshit 13th century belief that God himself determines who is rich and who is poor based on faith alone. You hear that term "Wealth Redistribution" being thrown around, like it's some kind of South African land grab to provide people with food stamps.

Too bad when it really comes down to it such people don't seem to give a shit about financial responsibility, not when it comes to redistributing seven hundred billion of our dollars UPWARDS to the rich people who ripped us all off in the first place. Where's your fucking "fiscal Responsibility" talk now, huh? Never mind the fact that this republican administration took the only projected surplus in the last 40 years and turned it into the largest deficit in fucking American history. Guess that fiscally conservative shit doesn't matter when it comes to cutting a trillion tax dollars for the rich people, huh? Yet these same people turn around and accuse of of creating a "nanny state." It blows my mind.

That I think is the final mark against these people. Look at how fucked up our country is, with only 8 years of an evangelical in the white house. Do we truly want another one in charge, this one even more brainless than the last? Why is it people who believe in this religion are always so soulless? Regardless of what happens, The next president is going to face incredible challenges. It's a lose-lose situation for us: if McCain wins we spiral further downward into neocon oblivion, if Obama wins they just blame all the shit that goes wrong on him.

Years ago, when it started to look like Gore lost the election under shady circumstances, we, the progressive left, told you people this shit would happen to our county,but you dumbasses were too busy waving yellow flags around to notice. Now look what happened.

Good job assholes.

Monday, September 29, 2008

The State of the Economy

An understatement, I think.

777 points in one day. Holy fucking shit.

Remember how a few years ago Bush inc. wanted to put Social Security into the stock market? Glad that didn't happen now, arentcha?

The general consensus now among the right wing boards I go to make fun of people at is this credit crisis is the fault of...

.... get this....


Yup, the right wing nutbags out there are trying to blame this whole thing on BLACK PEOPLE, and also the Democrats (of course,) for forcing banks to lend money to black people in order to buy homes. News stories like this (linky) are being thrown around as "proof" this whole financial crisis is in fact, once again, Bill Clinton's fault.

Too bad the truth is like the exact opposite.

Please make sure to click that link and read through it, and please please please please, do not believe anything they tell you about what's going on now. The news nowadays just becomes more increasingly surreal as the days go on. It's embarrassing how far our country has fallen.

In the meantime, now is a good time to pay off those credit cards, becasue belts are gonna get tightened all around.

Fucking Republicans...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Ten Things I Fucking Hate Part 11

1) Programs that change your preferences without asking you - For instance, how Itunes, wmp, or most other media players automatically assume you want to use them to play all your media files. Fuck Itunes.

2) People who use lolspeak outside of video games: Lolspeak, L337 sp33k, "gamer talk," or whatever, is generally used inside of multiplayer games where you have to type in order to communicate quickly. Used in the proper environment (i.e. in game,) it's perfectly acceptable. But outside this environment it's just plain silly. Look at this:

Random thread from Gamefaqs that illustrates my point perfectly

I can't even read that crap, and I won't even try. It makes my head hurt. What is disturbing is that over time our normal, ordinary language is going to be supplanted with this incoherent bullshit. People already use the words "download," "upgrade," "noob," and even "lol" in real ordinary life, Usually in context that has nothing to do with what the terms actually mean, i.e. "I upgraded my sandwich to a combo." You get free tech support with that sandwich too?

Stop that stupid shit, noobs.

3) Those little banner ads that companies put at the bottom of Television shows now. It's bad enough that 8 1/2 minutes of every half hour TV show is normal commercials already, now they even insert them while the damn show is still on the air. It targets people who have DV recorders who just skip the commercials. God damn I hate TV.

4) People who complain too much about gas prices: What's the matter, just now noticing that gasoline seems to double in price every few years? Didn't think about that when you bought that gigantic gas guzzling Hummer shit-mobile? Yeah, I'm really crying for you. It's not like this oil peak baloney is old news. We've only been talking about it for the last eight years. Maybe now you'll listen to us when we tell you to stop believing what the government and news corporations tell you.

People continue to buy these gigantic trucks and tanks and shit becasue they want to be cute and stick it to the environmentalists. I saw a Hummer on the freeway with the bumper sticker "Piss off a Liberal - Buy American," thereby making the assumption that real Americans drive 27-ton penis compensators. Yeah, I'm real pissed. If you like giving oil companies your money, by all means go right on ahead. Have fun paying $150 every three days to fill up that piece of shit.

5) People who think life revolves around Movie franchises: Look, just shut up about how much Star Wars sucks already. Yes, we understand the old trilogy is a fantastic masterpiece and the new trilogy is a tragic load of suck. We understand that George Lucas has lost his marbles and should be committed before he ruins anything else. We get it already. Now Please go out and find something more important for your life to be about. Feed the homeless. Plant a tree. Cure Cancer. Invent something. Find something, anything. Just please don't allow yourself to die so pathetic.

6) Apologetics who undermine other people's religions by pointing out scientific inaccuracies yet deny it when the same inaccuracies are in their own holy works. Let's face it folks, religion is not scientifically accurate. None of them are. That's why it's called Religion, and not science. You're not doing your own religion a favor by pointing out how unscientifically sound someone's else's religion is, becasue it begs the question of how well your own holy book holds up under the microscope - not well. Truth is the religious texts for our three main Abrahamic religions were written thousands of years ago, and as thus each expresses an understanding of the universe from their respective cultures. When compared with science each one fails to reach the bar. Yes, your religion does too. So please, stop trying to use your scientific "facts" to disprove someone else's religion. You're only making yourself look bad.

7) People who drive yellow cars with racing stripes: Guess all you need to do in order to sell cars is make a movie about your cars turning into giant robots, huh? How many of you dumb motherfuckers ran out and bought yourself a yellow Camaro with racing stripes after watching that stupid ass movie? Hey, if the main guy had yellow racing stripes tattooed on his buttcheeks would you brainless unimaginative mouthbreathers do that too? Are product placements in movies really that effective? So all I have to do to make you fruitcakes buy something is put it in a damn movie with robot soda machines and transforming Motorolas an' shit?

What's really sad is the guy who couldn't afford a Camaro, so instead paints his old hunk of crap Mazda yellow with racing stripes to try to make it look like he's driving a Transformer. That's like wearing fake gold, or having Wood paneling on the side of your car. Everyone knows the shit is fake, you're only fooling yourself.

It just doesn't make any sense to me. Since when did people base their entire lives over what they see in the fucking movies? When Silence of the Lambs came out did people start eating Fava beans with a nice Chianti and making that slurping sound all the time? When Pulp Fiction came out did everyone start shooting up smack and quoting bible verses? Did Samsung sell a billion Phones after the Matrix?

Oh wait, they did.

God damn you people are stupid.

8) When you're out with friends at a restaurant and no one will allow you to pay for anything. Thanks I appreciate it, but I have money too. You're making me feel cheap, Let me pay once in a while.

9) People who sell roms, hacks, protos, or other game related material that can be found for free like they're rare collectibles - One of the small sub segments of dorkdom I am happy to associate with are people who collect unreleased prototypes and early builds of games. Most of the people who are into this sort of thing are programmers and collect such material because of it's "educational" value, becasue what you get is usually still chock full of bugs and for the most part isn't playable. Once in a while though a game will make it nearly to retail before getting canned, a famous example being Half-Life or Propeller Arena for the Dreamcast, or Thrill Kill for the Ps1. Some of these games eventually get leaked and can be downloaded for free across various sites (some of them even legal :)

Problem is there's always some unscrupulous bottom-feeding dirtbag who burns a copy of said leaked rom, slaps together some off the shelf artwork and Ebays it as a "rare unreleased proto." Same shit with these assholes who burn a and sell full discs of Roms and emulators, it just muddies the hobby for the rest of us. True one shouldn't get too mad at scammers, becasue is it wrong to rip those off who are so eager to hand you their hard earned money? No, the reason they piss me off is the principal involved. These people are taking the labor of someone else and profiting off it. Just like some slimy crackbucket on the corner selling bootleg DVDs of a movie that's still showing in the theater across the street, these shitbags have no qualms about grifitng off the backs of others. Just goes to show, there's maybe 5% of the human population who actually creates everything so the other 95% can rip each other off.

10) Social networking Surveys: More inane bullshit that I'm not wasting my time with anymore. This is one of those ideas who's time has come and gone. I'm sure a few years ago when all these social networking sites that people use now instead of a real social life were the bees knees, filling out a few of these surveys might, maybe, occasionally, sometimes, once in a blue moon be a fun time waster. But as time goes on they just get more and more inane. It would help if they weren't all written by pre-teen girls. I'm not taking them, I'm not reading them, I'm not even looking at them anymore. I don't care when the last time you cried was or what kind of sandwich you ate yesterday or if you've ever cheated on a test, and I don't think I'm the only one. Is there anyone out there who actually pays attention to this bullshit? These surveys are distracting me from finding compromising semi-naked pictures of hot female acquaintances who's profiles I check but who I've only met a few times in real life. You know, the real reason we use these sites.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Fun with ATM fraud

Hey guys, I just got back from the bank, where I found out some dirtbag cloned my ATM card somehow and went on a mall shopping spree.

Yesterday I was using an ATM that I have used many times before in a CVS Pharmacy by my work. This time though the machine reset itself, right after I had entered my number in. I thought that was kinda strange. I watched it for a few minutes as it went up through it’s boot cycle (which it ran OS 2 warp, for some reason.) Unfortunately, I’m not super computer savvy enough to be able to tell what’s going on with a machine just by looking at it’s startup process (never mind the fact that I’ve also never seen an ATM starup before, I wouldn’t know if something’s wrong with it or what.) I shrugged it off, and checked my balance later in the day at a different machine. Everything was cool.

Earlier today at lunch after eating quite possibly the world’s best hamburger for some reason my atm card didn’t work when I went to pay. The girl gave me the "Sometimes these machines don’t work" spiel. I wouldn’t have been suspicious except for the freak resetting ATM thing that happened yesterday.

So on the way home from work I stopped in at the bank to check my balance, and sure enough someone had spent $300 out my account. Whoever it was somehow managed to hack or otherwise compromise that ATM in the pharmacy, then cloned the card and went shopping at the stupid mall (Macy’s and Fredricks of Hollywood, fucking lingerie of all things...)

Luckily I caught it early, and whoever it was apparently didn’t have my atm pin number as all the transactions were credit transactions (i.e. they had to sign for them like a credit card.) So luckily my savings were protected. So now I just got to spend the last hour closing out my account, opening a new account, and having the guy explain to me in intricate detail exactly what I need to do in order to file a fraud claim and get my $300 back.

I guess I should consider myself lucky as it was "only" $300 that the bank covers during the fraud investigation, my account was not frozen, I still have access to the money I have left, I hadn’t deposited my paycheck for this week, and I caught it early enough to prevent any more cash from disappearing. This same shit happened to a friend of mine and his bank totally froze everything.

So anyway, if you’re out using a money machine and suddenly it reboots for no reason, you know what’s going on.

No one ever gets to make fun of me for being paranoid ever again.