There was a blog I stumbled upon once, where a woman who was a divorced, remarried, bi-polar mother of eight had written a post about how she was going to start limiting the time her ex-husband could spend with their children unless he started paying more money in child support. I saw this and left a comment, to the effect of "Why don't you discuss this with your ex-husband, instead of using your children as leverage?" I may or may not have called her "despicable," can't remember. I probably did because people who use children to manipulate others make me sick to my stomach. Anyway other people on the blog came to her defense of course, calling me an asshole and shit like that, no surprise there. But the response I got from the lady herself on my own blog was this:
Came over to see what sort of asshole you were... but after coming over here, I see you are little more than a little boy who is too scared to grow up. Jeez...get an adult life already..
So what this woman is telling me, is that since I have several different websites where I post cartoons and artwork and shit, that this somehow makes me a "child," and since she's a divorced re-married unemployed mother of EIGHT CHILDREN who's contemplating using her children as bartering chips to extract more money from her ex-husband, that makes her an "adult."
Turns out this woman is a medicated bi-polar insane woman, here's her blog if anyone is interested:
This little mini-flamewar got me to thinking what "adult" actually means, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm a pretty good "adult" if I do say so myself. I'm employed, I have zero debt, I have no illegitimate children, have never been in prison, am not divorced, separated, or in any kind of bizarre love triangle, I've never been sued, I have no legal problems, I have no real enemies to speak of, have a decent amount of savings, I'm not an alcoholic or a drug addict, have my own place, my own car, and I owe nothing to anybody because I earned it all myself.
When someone says "Grow up." What exactly is this supposed to mean? What you're actually telling someone when you say this is "I think you are acting in a manner that is immature for your age." Well how exactly is this person acting "childish?" Are they selfish? Mean? Insulting? A total asshole? These don't sound like "childish" behaviors to me. The truth is most people who are "grown up" are simply children in larger bodies. Most people out there, when faced with any kind of moral decision, will usually do whatever it is that benefits themselves regardless of the consequences, and then simply justify it to themselves afterwards. People are inherently selfish, and usually only act altruistic when it benefits them in some way. Personally I see nothing wrong with that, it's just human nature after all. But we should not be bullshitting ourselves with this idea that when you "grow up" you suddenly start acting any differently then when you're a child.
What people out there fail to understand is that you create your own problems. Almost any "problem" that can befall you is usually a direct result of your own behavior. True shit happens sometimes, you get some weird medical problem, you lose your job because of factors outside of your control, you're a victim or some horrible crime or natural disaster, etc. You can't control when things like this happen, but what you can do is control your reaction to them. Most people out there do not understand that if you don't act like an asshole to everyone you meet, then people will do good things for you. If you're not a total raging dickhead whenever you don't get something you want, people in your life will be more likely to help you out when you're in need.
Being a nice person isn't enough though, additionally one needs to purge the sociopathic dickheads from one's existence. Seems like everywhere I go, I'm constantly running into greedy, selfish douchebags, who don't give a fuck about anyone else and just take anything they can get their hands on, and fuck whoever gets in their way. How many "problems" in your life can you trace back to dealing with people like this? We've all had friends or family members who take advantage of us in some ways, but most people are too afraid of "destroying a relationship" to do much about it. Well fuck that, if you're constantly dealing with someone else's bullshit, then do something about it. Do whatever it takes to remove yourself from this person's disaster area, whether this means moving out of your house, not answering phone calls, changing jobs, whatever. Does this mean you never see or interact with this person ever again? Not at all. All it means is that when shit hits the fan you don't get any of it on you.
So try it folks. Try not being an asshole to everyone you meet. Try not turning into a flailing penis whenever you don't get what you want. Try to take responsibility when shit in your life gets crazy, and stop blaming everyone else out there for shit that results from your own actions. Try to stop using other people like they're toilet paper to discarded after you're doing wiping your ass on them. Try to, dare I say it, "grow up." Maybe then you won't be writing stupid ass blogs about how no one loves you.