Thursday, December 21, 2017

No, SJWs aren't "ruining" Starwars, you fucking idiots.

I'm getting sick and tired of these pansy ass alt-right snowflakes bitching and moaning and getting their panties up in a bunch over "white genocide" because black people and women are allowed to have speaking parts in movies nowadays. Like having a black character that isn't stereotype or a leading woman in a movie about swordfighting space wizards is equivalent to gassing people in concentration camps.
"Oh Starwars is being destroyed by the SJWs! Oh the faggots and the liberal elite and people who eat kale and shit are engaging in a cultural marxist plot to shove feminism down our throats and make us all gay!" Get the fuck out of my face with this bullshit. These people believe the stupidest fucking shit, it's goddamned ridiculous. When I heard this I almost broke my nose because my hand just flew up into my face I was facepalming so hard. The main fucking character in Starwars is still white. Why is that a problem? Oh wait, it has to be a WHITE MAN. A white woman isn't good enough, any woman in any move who isn't just a pair of tits in a slave outfit for these miserable fucking cretins to spank to automatically means the movie has been taken over by rabid man-hating feminists. Watch out guys before they false rape accuse you!
This movie also commits the crimes of a black character who isn't a gangster, thug, or drug dealer, having a latino in a position of authority, and an Asian woman who isn't eye candy and is also not a ninja, mystic, and who doesn't "love you long time." How dare a movie have characters that actually have motivations, feelings, and story arcs and who also not white. HOW FUCKING DARE THEY! Don't you know only white people in movies are allowed to have backstories? Don't you know only white people in movies are allowed to develop, and have conflict? Anything more than that is COMMUNISM!

"But Mark," you alt-right pieces of shit might be saying, "How come the bad guys in this movie are all white males, huh? Explain that shit." Well have the seen the original trilogy? The Empire is all white men in those movies too, you know why? Because they're symbolic of the fucking Nazis. That's right you backwards-ass frog posting trailer living fucks - the bad guys in Star Wars are Nazis. They were always racist, goosestepping fascist nazis. Notice how only the rebels have aliens and robots and shit on their side?

What about the rebels? Luke Skywalker isn't the leader of the Rebellion, Princess Leia is. In the first movie Han is a scumbag mercenary who only helps out for the money. In Return of the Jedi Princess Leia is rescuing him. Han is the damsel in distress in that movie. Yeah Luke gets to blow up the death star, but you know who else gets to blow up the death star? A BLACK MAN. And in Jedi while Liea is off playing with Ewoks and shit,  the leader of the Rebellion is still a woman.

If you think that somehow Starwars is "ruined" now because characters that aren't white are allowed to grow and develop and have backstories and motivations and conflicts and shit, then fuck you. If you think that a movie which has homosexual robots, little green Buddhist space wizards, and walking carpet people is the forefront of some wacky Marxist communist conspiracy to chop off your balls  and send your children to concentration camps, then fuck you. If you think that a movie with spaceships and planets blowing up where people move shit with their minds and who's main reason to exist is to sell merchandise is somehow contributing to the elimination of your racial demographic because it has a slightly overweight Asian chick in it, then fuck you.

Actually, just fuck all your alt-right pansies in general. May the force fuck you, right up your stupid fucking ass.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

My Predictions for the Trump Presidency

He won, she lost. I really wanted Hillary to win, but she didn't. It sucks. Guess we'll just have to suck it up and power through it. It'll be just like it was during the Bush years, with our president a national embarrassment, doing and saying goofy-ass things, and the Republican establishment running rampant destroying everything that's left of our government, etc.
My Predictions for the Trump Presidency:
  • He starts another war, or gets us boot-on-the-ground involved in Syria.
  • Kiss Obamacare goodbye. Sounds good, but wait until they replace it with absolutely nothing. Say hello to getting refused health insurance again.
  • Taxes are going down for rich people, up for poor people.
  • He'll get a judge in the Supreme court, eventually. It'll be someone fucked up, like Alito or Thomas.
  • We'll see a ridiculous mini-scandal every week or so, when President Trump either fucks up, insults someone, or doesn't understand a fundamental function of government.
  • He'll accomplish surprisingly little of his actual agenda. Some additional money may be allotted to the southern border, but there'll never be a 40 border wall with barbed wire and attack dogs, etc. My guess is that the level of illegal aliens crossing and deportations will remain roughly the same.
  • He will not dismantle the EPA. Somehow I doubt even a Republican controlled congress will go that far. Specific regulations may get the axe however.
  • He won't do shit for the inner cities, despite his claim of making the "streets safer." There's not even really much a president can do, to effect local policing.
  • He won't outlaw abortion. The Republican controlled congress might, but I think Trump was bullshitting about his abortion stance to get the Evangelical vote.
  • Late Night TV is going to be hilarious. The Daily Show will get good again. Alec Baldwin becomes a regular on SNL.
  • The Trump DEA is going to start persecuting marijuana cases again. It will take a groundswell to keep weed legal in those states that have passed legalization.
  • No, gay marriage will not be outlawed. The Republican controlled congress may try, but they'll fail.
  • Trump will get caught somehow in a scandal with a shitload of money. My guess is that it will be redirecting leftover campaign funds to his personal accounts. He's too fucking greedy to not take advantage of the office of president for personal gain.
  • No, Trump will not be impeached. If we couldn't impeach Bush for starting a fucking war under false pretenses then we won't be able to impeach Trump for whatever illegal fuckery he's no doubt going to engage in.
  • No, Hillary Clinton will not be imprisoned. There has to like be, evidence of a crime and such, before that can happen.
  • The deficit (and national debt) is going to skyrocket - because Republicans only give a shit about spending when Democrats do it.
  • And finally, all those people who made the stupid frog memes and such who supported him are going to hate his guts by the time he leaves office. The same thing happened to Bush, it'll happen to him.
For the rest of us, stay cool and relax. Don't let it ruin your day tomorrow. Organize for whatever your cause is, and be vigilant. The Republicans are about to be put in the uncomfortable position of having to support the government again. For many of you kids too young to remember a Republican presidency, you're about to learn firsthand how inept they are at actually governing.