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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Ten Things I Fucking Hate Part V

1) Junebugs: Those little yellow beetles that fly around and smack into things. These insects are proof enough that evolution is true; God would never design an organism so ugly, clumsy, or annoying.

2) People who have the "Calvin pissing" sticker on their cars: You are all thieves. Bill Watterson retired because assholes like you kept ripping him off. Now the Sunday funnies suck ass. Thanks motherfuckers.

3) Family Circus: Why is this fucking comic still in print? How many years have we been forced to view this mindless garbage? it's not funny, half the time it's some stupid observation of child behavior that anyone with kids wouldn't get (no less care about,) it doesn't make sense, the kids look like disgusting overweight deformed cabbage patch dolls with big-headed disease. It needs to end. We need to destroy it.

4) Girls who wear sweatpants outside: Nothing says "I give up" more than a pair of sweatpants. I know it's casual, comfortable wear for the up and up woman with a career and a home life too, I'm saying they make you look ugly. They do nothing to show off your ass, plus they make you look lazy. Put on a pair of jeans when you go outside.

5) Thin crust pizza: Man, if it ain't broke, then don't fix it. Thin crust pizza is fucking nasty, period. It's like eating soggy crackers.

6) Cowboys: What is this obsession with dressing up like Hopalong Cassidy? I wonder if in 1899 there was a whole sub-segment of the society who continued to dress in frilly coats, powdered wings, and shoes with buckles on them. This is the 21st century, get with the fucking program already.

7) Eggplant: There is no possible way to prepare this vegetable so it tastes good. There just isn't. Don't even try.

8) When the girl you love  marries somebody else: I am going to kill myself.

9) Hunters: All hunters are a bunch of wimps and pussies. There is nothing "sporting" about shooting a defenseless animal from a mile away with a high powered rifle. They're all fat stupid rednecks who all think they're fucking Davy Crockett. All you Elmer Fudd lookin' retards out there should be forced to use sharpened rocks, caveman style. Let's see how tough you are facing down a 500 pound Elk with bag of pebbles and a sling. And then they get all teary eyed when one of them ends up lunch for a black bear. Fuck'em, be a good lesson to the rest.

10) Having to say "sorry" whenever I accidentally brush up against another person: What the hell kind of society do we live in where if I even make the slightest contact with another human being's body, if I don't immediately apologize and back away, then somehow they think I'm some kind of child molester asshole or something? I'm NOT sorry I bumped into you, I did it on purpose. Your were in my way, try looking where you're going next time. This is a real pain in the neck when you do this to a chick, because then she suddenly thinks you're some kind of pervert and was trying to feel her ass or something. It's fucking bullshit, I have crap to do and if your fat ass is in the way that's not my problem. Fuck you and your personal space.

Saturday, July 3, 2004

ALL CONSERVATIVES MUST DIE

(The reaction I got to this one was interesting, a few people choose this as an example of a Liberal blog post that advocated violence towards conservatives. You'll notice that nowhere in the post do I actually do that, except for the very last line which, if you are retarted and read it out of context, could reasonably be construed as advocating violence, but not really as it's only my personal opinion. Nowhere do I say "Go out and kill conservatives." Becasue killing people you don't agree with is something that only right wing nutjobs tend to do - abortion doctors anyone? When was the last time a leftist got busted for a hate crime? When was the last time a vegan neo-pagan femminist enviromental activist went out and murdered someone for political reasons? Name one example. You can't, becasue it doesn't happen. So you conservative people don't go trying to turn the shit around and say I'm advocating violence, because that's a load of shit. - MR)

Fuck these people.
You know what is wrong with this country? Everybody in it is a moron. We are a country that prides it's self on liberty, that is personal freedom. But while our forefathers had the idea that Liberty involved being able to own your own land, make your own rules, elect your own leaders, and work at your own ability to make something for yourself and your family, today people equate liberty with choosing not to wear a seat belt or smoke a cigarette in a hospital.
I didn't make that up, I heard it on the John Ziegler show, which to my dismay displaced Coast to Coast with George Noory at the 10 pm slot on KFI, home reactionary right talk radio (also called "the Rush Limbaugh network.") What the hell am I doing listening to John Ziegler, especially after the rant where I told him he blows ass so much? Because he's on at 10 pm after I get off of work. The radio station I usually listen to, KPFK (part of the Pacifica network, the one source of media left besides the internet that isn't totally overrun by right wing assholes or corporate dickheads with an agenda) usually plays music at this time. While most of the time it's good music, it is still music none the less. I like talk radio, it's nice to think about shit while driving. The choices in my particular area are rather slim for talk radio at 10pm, and while John Ziegler is nothing more than a dancing monkey that parrots out the usual celebrity "news" bullshit, at least it's something to digest.
So this quote gets me thinking about the conservative mindset, and it didn't take very long to equate what we call the average American conservative to what fifty years ago we called "Fascists." Yes, I know there are internet rules about losing arugments when one party calls the other a facist. Fuck that, I'm doing it anyway.
What were the goals of European Fascism circa WWII? How many of fascism's goals have parallels in today's conservative organizations? (You notice I don't say "Republicans" specifically, because a lot of the Democrats are just as bad. The Republicans are just more verbal about it.) Let's name a few:
1) Total domination of the Government by the military: Anyone who cuts military spending is branded a traitor who is "Against our troops." Never mind that even when we weren't fighting two wars at once military spending was still the largest expenditure of our tax dollars, next to social security that is. You know how much we have spent on the military since WWII? Over fifteen trillion dollars. That's :
15,000,000,000,000
Fifteen trillion dollars is what it took to bankrupt the Soviets and get rid of Communism. It's also more than the sum total of EVERYTHING in the United States and it's territories. That means all the houses, roads, cities, factories, fanny packs, computers, coffee mugs, paychecks, retirement plans, Nintendo Gameboys, and everything else in the country for the last 50 years could be bought with that much dough. All this cash spent on building tanks, bombs, nuclear missiles, atomic submarines, and all this other shit that didn't matter when 20 psychopaths rendered all that technology useless and managed to fuck us up more than anyone else since Peal Harbor with some $5.99 box cutters and a few plane tickets. What the fuck are these assholes doing with all that money? Why the hell are we still giving it to them?
But will you ever see a conservative even think for a second that all this ridiculous spending just might be unjustified? No way, because it's not about defense, or "homeland security," it's about domination. Domination of the citizens of this country and every other country on the entire planet, just like Hitler wanted. It always has been. It makes my fucking head hurt.
2) Total domination of the citizen by the government: The code word for this is "security," i.e. we need the ability to hunt down those who would do us harm and stop them before they kill us. See, in America everyone is scared shitless of dying, be it from acid rain, Satan worshipers, computer hackers, SARS, gangbangers or terrorists. We have here what is called "the monster of the week," that horrible unknown, unspeakable agent of evil whose only goal is to destroy us utterly and everything we stand for. For a few short weeks after 9-11 it seemed like people started thinking beyond this baloney, but it only took a little while for terrorism to become the latest monster of the week. Now terrorism is nothing more than an excuse to strip away just a little bit more of your Constitutional rights. See, they don't take it away in huge chunks because that would be too obvious; They create the conditions whereupon you will consent to your rights being removed little by little until there is nothing left. Because when there are scary Islamo-terrorists armed with Iraqi chemical weapons it might be prudent to burst down the door without a warrant.
Sound familiar? It's because the same bullshit was pulled by Hitler: Create a crisis, inflate the sense of patriotic identity that most people naturally feel about the country they love, find a scapegoat to blame it on, and then the people will make you a demi-god and you will rule them for life. Hitler choose Jews to persecute. Used to be Communists here, now it's terrorists. Same old story.
3) Destruction of any kind of Public assistance net: Why? Because you can't keep people out fighting wars when they're too concerned about the poor people back home. Besides who the hell wants to spend their money helping smelly homeless people when there's bombs to build and tanks to manufacture? You fool the people into thinking that "big government" is evil, cut all the funding to education (can't have people thinking for themselves,) stop all assistance to poor ghetto children and people in wheelchairs, get rid of any costly regulations that stop people from dumping toxic waste where ever they feel like it, then you take that collective anger and focus it at your enemy, which today seems to be whichever country has the most oil. People don't want to kill strangers that can do them no harm when life back home is too easy- you have to keep them terrified on a constant basis, living one step above abject poverty, and willing to risk their lives to get something better for themselves. In the meantime you get to run away with all the moola. Don't tell me this isn't what happened in Nazi Germany because it did, it's the model all dictatorships follow. Turn the people against themselves and they will have nobody but you to "protect" them. That's homeland security in a nutshell.
4) Encourage Religion and where possible integrate it with civic duty: I am just going to come out and say it: Religion is bullshit. It always has been and always will be. Does this mean that I'm some kind of soulless atheist commie bastard with no regard for human life? Nope, it just means that religion has no place in the public life and workings of a government for sophisticated educated people in the 21st century. You can believe all that invisible man shit if you want, fine with me. But keep it the fuck out of the courthouse, out of congress, out of the White House, and off of my money. Now that you know my opinion...
The relationship between religion and tyranny is simple: Keep the people in the church on their knees and they will never think with their heads. A god that preaches love is the best tool to use to get those same people to kill others they don't even know. Besides, it'll keep people used to the idea of an authority figure that must be submitted to in every way possible. What the TV preachers fail to recognize is that the Islamo-terrorists are very religious people too, and it is precisely because of this religious fervor that they carry out their destruction with such zealous abandonment. How different is blowing yourself up in an Israeli disco from sending your life savings to Pat Robertson or sending your kid to a "reprogramming center?" Not very large in my opinion; both are actions done by desperate people fooled by those who they think will save them.
Besides, every dictator needs an army willing do fight to the death. Hitler encouraged religion too.
5) Take any restrictions off the corporations back home: The collaboration between the Nazi Party and big businesses like Dupont, Ford, Chrysler, Berretta, etc. are all well documented. Bombers were instructed not to hit certain buildings in Germany as they were owned by said companies; before long people started using them as air raid shelters because they knew they would be safe there. These were American companies that were doing business arming the Nazis, but at the end of the war instead of being sued out of existence like traitors, our Government paid them repatriations for damages inflicted upon their holdings in Germany. Ford got 31 million dollars at the end of the war, Chrysler got 18 million. When I first heard this I couldn't fucking believe it, but it's true. Look it up.
Why the big cozy mutual anal plunging between fascism and big business? Why would a government that is interested in total control relinquish that control when it comes to the means of production? Because if you ally yourselves with the Capitalists then you get access to the capital. I'm not saying this because I'm some kind of commie tree hugger that wants to get rid of all personal property; I am a firm believer in the free market, but I recognize that sometimes the free market isn't so free.
So you remove any government oversight to the corporations that fund your elections and let them run wild, and they will guarantee their support to you when the shit hits the fan, say like, oh I don't know, helping you steal an election *cough* FOX *cough*. It's a deal with the devil that goes back all the way to the civil war, and it needs to end. But I never see any of the conservative element in the pathetic monstrosity that passes for our political discourse say a nary word against corporate intrests. That's because our politicians were bought and paid for long ago people. It's not the land of the free anymore, it's the land of the free lunch for Microsoft, Walmart, Monsanto, and the Carlyle group.
Now before you all stereotype me as some stoned out nutcase who works a shitty job and is jealous of the rich people (which is a pretty good assessment I'd say, except you left out that I masturbate three times a day) keep in mind that in it's own way the radical left is just as fucked up as the right. The difference is that Greenpeace, the ACLU, the Green Party, the Industrial Workers of the World, or L.A.B. (Lesbians Against Bush) don't have the bazillions of dollars, the control of the major media, the access to vast sums of capital and resources, or tons of political clout that say Concerned Women for America, the Christian coalition, the Heritage foundation, The American Center for law and justice, or the G.O.P. have. They also for the most part do not have the same kind (or amount) of corporate money flowing into them. Don't believe me? Here's a list of corporate backers of the Cato Institute, a lobbyist organization who's main goal is the privatization of government services, social security in particular:
Philip Morris, R.J. Reynolds, Bell Atlantic Network Services, BellSouth Corporation, Digital Equipment Corporation, GTE Corporation, Microsoft Corp- oration, Netscape Communications Corporation, NYNEX Corporation, Sun Microsystems, Viacom International, American Express, Chase Manhattan Bank, Chemical Bank, Citicorp/Citibank, Commonwealth Fund, Prudential Securities and Salomon Brothers. Energy conglomerates include: Chevron Companies, Exxon Company, Shell Oil Company and Tenneco Gas, as well as the American Petroleum Institute, Amoco Foundation and Atlantic Richfield Foundation. Cato's pharmaceutical donors include Eli Lilly & Company, Merck & Company and Pfizer, Inc.
Yup, backed by the same people who would take control of said privatized government services, the deal with the devil hand in hand with the carrot and the stick to our politicians stressed for re-election funds. Imagine if Microsoft ran the schools, or R.J. Reynolds ran Medicare, or Enron ran Social Security? And these are the people that are fucking making it happen, the RIGHT, NOT THE LEFT. Our country is so goddamed corrupt it makes me want to let out a huge fart. I just did anyway.
The left is corrupt, disorganized, and for the most part so full of shit and disassociated with the mainstream that they can no longer act as a viable counterbalance to the fascists on the right who are taking over the country. A quick read up on history shows that the left never really had a chance in the first place. We can't count on them any longer to slow the progression of our country turning into a police state. They are too busy keeping their heads in their asses.
Wake up people, time to start taking the country back. We can have free markets, personal freedom, and peaceful world devoid of war and terrorism and at the same time protect worker's rights, jobs, the environment, civil liberties, etc. These things are not mutually exclusive. But it's going to take some concessions from both sides. Its' going to take not just cooperation between our two political parties, it's going to take us purging the criminal filth from our politics and institutions to make it happen. It's going to take your lazy ass to quit complaining, get up off the bed, turn off Mario Sunshine, and go out there and vote. In 2000 less than half of the citizens in this country bothered to vote, and look what happened. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
I personally think we should just kill them all.