1) Junebugs: Those little yellow beetles that fly around and smack into things. These insects are proof enough that evolution is true; God would never design an organism so ugly, clumsy, or annoying.
2) People who have the "Calvin pissing" sticker on their cars: You are all thieves. Bill Watterson retired because assholes like you kept ripping him off. Now the Sunday funnies suck ass. Thanks motherfuckers.
3) Family Circus: Why is this fucking comic still in print? How many years have we been forced to view this mindless garbage? it's not funny, half the time it's some stupid observation of child behavior that anyone with kids wouldn't get (no less care about,) it doesn't make sense, the kids look like disgusting overweight deformed cabbage patch dolls with big-headed disease. It needs to end. We need to destroy it.
4) Girls who wear sweatpants outside: Nothing says "I give up" more than a pair of sweatpants. I know it's casual, comfortable wear for the up and up woman with a career and a home life too, I'm saying they make you look ugly. They do nothing to show off your ass, plus they make you look lazy. Put on a pair of jeans when you go outside.
5) Thin crust pizza: Man, if it ain't broke, then don't fix it. Thin crust pizza is fucking nasty, period. It's like eating soggy crackers.
6) Cowboys: What is this obsession with dressing up like Hopalong Cassidy? I wonder if in 1899 there was a whole sub-segment of the society who continued to dress in frilly coats, powdered wings, and shoes with buckles on them. This is the 21st century, get with the fucking program already.
7) Eggplant: There is no possible way to prepare this vegetable so it tastes good. There just isn't. Don't even try.
8) When the girl you love marries somebody else: I am going to kill myself.
9) Hunters: All hunters are a bunch of wimps and pussies. There is nothing "sporting" about shooting a defenseless animal from a mile away with a high powered rifle. They're all fat stupid rednecks who all think they're fucking Davy Crockett. All you Elmer Fudd lookin' retards out there should be forced to use sharpened rocks, caveman style. Let's see how tough you are facing down a 500 pound Elk with bag of pebbles and a sling. And then they get all teary eyed when one of them ends up lunch for a black bear. Fuck'em, be a good lesson to the rest.
10) Having to say "sorry" whenever I accidentally brush up against another person: What the hell kind of society do we live in where if I even make the slightest contact with another human being's body, if I don't immediately apologize and back away, then somehow they think I'm some kind of child molester asshole or something? I'm NOT sorry I bumped into you, I did it on purpose. Your were in my way, try looking where you're going next time. This is a real pain in the neck when you do this to a chick, because then she suddenly thinks you're some kind of pervert and was trying to feel her ass or something. It's fucking bullshit, I have crap to do and if your fat ass is in the way that's not my problem. Fuck you and your personal space.
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