1. Assholes with loud motorcycles: I've got nothing in particular against bikers per se, because personally I think the bad-ass biker thing is pretty cool. It's those dickheads who ride around like dumbasses for no other reason than to show how LOUD their bike is that piss me off. You all know the scenario: You're with your friends of family at a cafe patio or restaurant or something, just trying to eat and have a good time, until some fucking jerk revs up his penis-crutch all loud and shit, totally destroying the atmosphere and forcing you to shout all loud and everything. The guy blares it on, then revs it two or three times, totally drowning out all other sound, then peels out stroking his dick as he scoots away. Then you look at his ass and can't help but notice what a shiny and expensive motorcycle this individual has. It's an attention getter for middle aged men who haven't got any pussy in years to make themselves feel cool. Real fucking bikers could give a shit about who notices them driving down the street. I have no patience for people and the crap they do to booster their egos. Fuck them.
2. People who excessively complain at work: Okay, I realize everyone complains about their jobs. In all of my old jobs I didn't mind this so much as frankly they were all kack restaurant/clerk/serving the public type jobs, and they all blew ass. But my current job is the best job ever. I play fucking video games for a living. Yet people still bitch and moan even about that.
Bottom line is this: You don't like your job? Then leave. Nobody is making your ass stay there. I got tired of mopping floors and cleaning fucking toilets, so I left. Now I don't complain. The minute my awesome game testing job turns sour I'll get another one. So shut the fuck up and get to work.
3. People who never have their own cigarettes: You've always got that one friend/co-worker/family member who never has his own fucking cigarettes. When the smoke break rolls around they show up, like clockwork. This person may usually be very generous when they have smokes. Problem is they never, ever, ever do. These things cost like five bucks a pack now. Get your own.
4. Shifty gas stations: Since the price of gas has skyrocketed over the last few months it seems like every single gas station I go to rips me off, without fail. My car has a ten gallon tank. I get gas when I get below an 8th of a tank. That means I should have 1+ gallons left. But every fucking gas station I've been to in the last four months rips me off a dollar or so. A few cents from each person can equal thousands of dollars for the gas station. Fucking bullshit.
5. Itunes:
Apple: Hey, we made it illegal to download music so we could force you to buy the same music but at a crappier quality, plus we control what devices and media players you can use to listen to said music on and how many times you can burn it. We do all this because we can.
Me: Fuck Itunes.
6: Cherehonkees: White middle aged people who pretend they're Native American. I'm like 1/87th Indian myself but I don't walk around wearing a headdress or living in a wampum. You ridicule the cultural identity you profess to hold sacred.
7. People who leave like ten tons of garbage all over the floors of their cars: The guy who eats fast food and stuff and just throws the wrappers on the floor, then they give you a ride and you've got to bury your feet in the shit. God-Damn, clean your stupid car out once in a while.
8. The Mazda "Zoom Zoom Zoom" song: I will never, ever, ever buy a car from these people, just because of that song.
9. People who get all defensive when you insult their favorite band/music/movies/TV shows/Video games: If you are so pathetic that the crap you own, listen to, or watch for entertainment makes up so much of your identity that you actually get angry when someone else expresses a negative opinion of it, then you are beyond help, and should just stop breathing. If what you own defines who you are then you are nothing worth owning. Get bent.
10: Courtroom TV shows: Freak shows for the modern era, featuring the most fucked up people in existence getting yelled at by some stuck up bitch with an attitude. Where do they find these people who willingly expose their pathetic lives to such ridicule? It's TV for rednecks, and it should be destroyed. Anyone who likes these shows is lame.
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