Ten Things I Fucking Hate Part III

1) Assholes who throw out some useless piece of trivia and think they're smart: You're sitting talking to your friend about something lame like cartoons or whatever and some fool next to you gives you the entire history of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. You are not smart for knowing something like that. You are pathetic.

2) Teenagers: I hate kids. They should all be locked up underground and fed dead rats and fish heads. Fuck them.

3) The "Political Guy": Every klick has one, the guy who goes on the internet and reads some reactionary blog or whatever and always thinks that what's happening right now on CNN in the precursor to America collapsing into a communist police state. Some of you might think this is a little hypocritical coming from a guy who has a page entitled "The Bad Bush list." Well, you're just going to have to figure that out.

4) STONERS: I fucking hate stoners. It's just sad to see someone who's hardly reached the age of adulthood and has already committed himself to a life of mediocrity. You're only 21, not even to of school yet, and already you've totally destroyed your mind by overindulging in what should be a normally harmless pastime. Weed is recreation, a party drug, something people do to have a good time. It is not supposed to be a way of life. When you wake up in the morning and take a deep bong rip even before you take a piss then it's time to lay off the ganja for a bit. You may notice strange things happening to your mind, like maybe you'll be able to remember shit once in a while. If you keep this shit up you're going to be dilevering pizzas at Papa Johns forever. And everybody knows how pathetic old stoners are.

5) Loser Goth fools: The fact is that most "Goth" bozos are in it for the looks. The guys get into it because they want to be "The Crow" and the chicks do it because they have some delusion that all the make-up and Morticia outfits will cover up their otherwise ugly appearance. Here's a hint folks: You're still ugly no matter how much make-up you wear, Your poetry still sucks no matter how many vampires are in it, and you're still lame no matter how much you spend on your wardrobe. Some of you might think this hypocritical coming from a guy who wears the same black clothes everyday. Well, once again, figure it out.

6) Abercrombie and Fich: Did I fall asleep for a few decades and miss something? Since when did this clothing company take over the world? I took a day and counted how many people I saw wearing clothes by A&F, my total: 213 in the space of 8 hours. The clothes aren't anything that special, they look just like every other piece of sweatshop garbage made by indentured slaves out of some third world country. It is time for this company to be destroyed.

7) Sprite comics: Stupid. You might as well cut pictures out of a newspaper. And they're all about the same thing: Megaman kills Super Mario and then bangs the princess or something else only a 14 year old boy cold imagine. Give it up.

8) Getting a zit right between your shoulder blades where you can't reach it: I hate that shit.

9) Hypochondriacs: I have no fucking patience for these people anymore. If you give into their shit and give them sympathy then you're just playing into their game and encouraging them. You are not sick. You are not going to die of the West Nile Virus, or cancer, or fucking SARS. It's all in your head. Shut the hell up already.

10) The Ditech.com Loan Officer: Where the fuck do they find these idiots? I can picture the board meeting: "Let's get a gross ugly bucket of Lard-ass donkey jizz to be our new spokesman." I hate those stupid commercials. "Darn, I lost another loan to Ditech!" Hey, I lost my left foot up your ass you big fat boring loser. Please, get rid of this guy.