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Monday, December 1, 2003

The Internet Sucks

The internet was supposed to be something that was going to change the fabric of our society, alter the entire face of human interaction and transform us into a high tech race of highly efficient computerized cyber citizens who live in a free and just society. Instead, the internet sucks.

Don't get me wrong. I fully enjoy many aspects of on-line life, like the fact that I can publish a web page and at the click of a mouse insult people from all across the globe. But the problem is that the sweeping changes that were supposed to happen because of the broadband wiring of society never happened. In fact in some respects the internet has made shit worse.

E-mail was supposed to be this awesome new way to communicate that was supposed to open doors by allowing the instant exchange of Ideas regardless of time or distance. But it's become just another way to shove junk mail up your ass. I get probably one or two valid e-mails a week (e-mails from people or websites I know about.) By comparison I get about 500 Spam junk e-mails a day, everything from Porn sites with old ladies blowing horse dick to Nigerian letter scams where some asshole is trying to rip off my bank account number. It's uncanny. The advent of e-mail has created a whole new species of asshole, the Spammer. It got so bad once that I had to close down a hotmail account because I got too much fucking Junk mail. Where's the sweeping social change in that?

Yeah, the internet is good to research shit, if you have the patience to shift through thousands of bullshit homepages put up by right wing assholes, religious nuts, wacko conspiracy bozos, and complete and total crazy people. Also the tens of millions of fucking porn or warez sites that redirect you and stealth install bullshit on your computer isn't making me any happier either.

But by the worst thing is the fact the halls of cyber space are prowled by the biggest subsection of fuck-ups this side of the Looney ward. The fact that your true identify is hidden has allowed any fucking nimrod with a finger click a mouse to get on and act like he's somebody important. NOTE TO INTERNET PEOPLE: Learn how to type in proper English. This "Ha ha u suc my @$$ n00b cause I b da m2573r hax0r rotflmao!" Bullshit is getting old. That shit was funny and cool for five minutes in 1993. It is over now. Get on with your life.

Second, just because somebody is new to a website, chat room, or message board does not mean you have to automatically be a total asshole to them. Half the time I post on a board because I have a question about something. I am looking for an answer. I am not looking to for some bozo trying to pathetically flame me because I'm a "n00bie." Oh, you have experience on the Bovineanalfistingdiseasecarrier.com buliten board, so I guess it's your right to call me names when I ask a simple fucking question? A stupid nickname does not make you cool. Please go and kill yourself.

Speaking of porn sites, just how many fucking pages of lolita bestiality transvestite extreme anal penetrations do we need? I think it's really telling about our society when we develop a tool that can bring entire nations together and create cultural enlightenment at the click of a button and the largest industry it develops caters to fat, smelly guys who spank it to naked pictures of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It just blows my mind.

The only good thing on the internet is E-Bay. At least you can buy shit on the net. And Peer to Peer networking. Everything else abut it sucks.

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