My Predictions for the Trump Presidency

He won, she lost. I really wanted Hillary to win, but she didn't. It sucks. Guess we'll just have to suck it up and power through it. It'll be just like it was during the Bush years, with our president a national embarrassment, doing and saying goofy-ass things, and the Republican establishment running rampant destroying everything that's left of our government, etc.

My Predictions for the Trump Presidency:

• He starts another war, or gets us boot-on-the-ground involved in Syria.
• Kiss Obamacare goodbye. Sounds good, but wait until they replace it with absolutely nothing. Say hello to getting refused health insurance again.
• Taxes are going down for rich people, up for poor people.
• He'll get a judge in the Supreme court, eventually. It'll be someone fucked up, like Alito or Thomas.
• We'll see a ridiculous mini-scandal every week or so, when President Trump either fucks up, insults someone, or doesn't understand a fundamental function of government.
• He'll accomplish surprisingly little of his actual agenda. Some additional money may be allotted to the southern border, but there'll never be a 40 border wall with barbed wire and attack dogs, etc. My guess is that the level of illegal aliens crossing and deportations will remain roughly the same.
• He will not dismantle the EPA. Somehow I doubt even a Republican controlled congress will go that far. Specific regulations may get the axe however.
• He won't do shit for the inner cities, despite his claim of making the "streets safer." There's not even really much a president can do, to effect local policing.
• He won't outlaw abortion. The Republican controlled congress might, but I think Trump was bullshitting about his abortion stance to get the Evangelical vote.
• Late Night TV is going to be hilarious. The Daily Show will get good again. Alec Baldwin becomes a regular on SNL.
• The Trump DEA is going to start persecuting marijuana cases again. It will take a groundswell to keep weed legal in those states that have passed legalization.
• No, gay marriage will not be outlawed. The Republican controlled congress may try, but they'll fail.
• Trump will get caught somehow in a scandal with a shitload of money. My guess is that it will be redirecting leftover campaign funds to his personal accounts. He's too fucking greedy to not take advantage of the office of president for personal gain.
• No, Trump will not be impeached. If we couldn't impeach Bush for starting a fucking war under false pretenses then we won't be able to impeach Trump for whatever illegal fuckery he's no doubt going to engage in.
• No, Hillary Clinton will not be imprisoned. There has to like be, evidence of a crime and such, before that can happen.
• The deficit (and national debt) is going to skyrocket - because Republicans only give a shit about spending when Democrats do it.
• And finally, all those people who made the stupid frog memes and such who supported him are going to hate his guts by the time he leaves office. The same thing happened to Bush, it'll happen to him.

For the rest of us, stay cool and relax. Don't let it ruin your day tomorrow. Organize for whatever your cause is, and be vigilant. The Republicans are about to be put in the uncomfortable position of having to support the government again. For many of you kids too young to remember a Republican presidency, you're about to learn firsthand how inept they are at actually governing.