1) Cheesy poofs: Disgusting artificial chemical bullshit, made out of God knows what. It's like eating Styrofoam packing peanuts covered in shit flavored volcanic ash. These things should be outlawed.
2) Doritos: THE most disgusting snack food on the face of the Earth. What the fuck does Dorito mean anyway?
3) People who try to bring back the 80's: Nowhere else in the history of time was there an period more embarrassing than the 1980s. As I was only a small child for the majority of the 80s I can be forgiven for living through it. The only good thing to come out of the 80's was Super Mario, and He-man. Everything else bites. The 80's was the decade that deserved to die.
4) Old People: I know I've mentioned this before, but lately it seems I've been assaulted by old people left and right. The other day an old lady yelled at me for changing a head light in a do-it-yourself car wash. I had never bitched out an old person before, but now that I've done it I must admit it was rather enjoyable. I'm going to make yelling at old people a regular habit.
5) Morons who keep dangerous animals and then get all pissy when they get their faces mauled: How many times have you heard about some idiot keeping a Bengal tiger in his apartment getting his arm torn off? It's a wild animal you fuckhead, What the hell did you expect? If you keep a huge animal that could devour you in a minute in a small confined space for an unnatural amount of time you should expect it to take a bite out of you once in a while. Like that asshole Sigfreid in Las Vegas who hit his performing tiger in the head with the microphone, and then everyone got all sad when it played mangle the meat melon with his head. If the tiger was in a fucking Zoo (or better yet, in the wild where it belongs) Sigfreid would not be a faceless freak today. This includes dickheads who keep poisonous tarantulas, scorpions, boa constrictors, whatever. They all deserve to become lunch. Fucking idiots.
6) Girls who honk when the laugh: You know what I'm talking about; she starts giggling uncontrollably, stiffens up, then "HOOONNNK!" It's not funny, it's annoying.
7) Fags who think they're tough because they drive big-ass trucks: Oh you drive a big huge penis mobile, so now I'm supposed to be scared of you? Fuck you and your truck. You have no reason to drive a gigantic monstrosity like that unless you use it to haul lumber or furniture or something. The fact that you need a monstrous vehicle to booster your self esteem shows how small your penis actually is. Gas here in Los Angles is currently $2.39 a gallon, so it's a subtle form of revenge to know that these assholes are spending over 40 bucks to fill up their dick mobiles. Fuck them.
8) Stop smoking ads: Yes, I know it's going to kill me. I don't need a TV ad to tell me to quit. One day I will, at the moment I already eat healthy and work out and shit. One fucking thing at a time. In the mean time just shut the hell up already.
9) People who wear sandals outside: What are you fucking Jesus or something? Nobody wants to look at your dirty ass feet. Hot chicks can get away with this because hot chicks can get away with anything. The rest of you have dirty, smelly, crusty, vomit inducing feet that are best left covered up. I hate sandals so much just let out a huge fart.
10) Tow truck drivers: I swear, God please kill all these assholes, please, I beg of you. I promise to stop making fun of Christians on the internet for one whole month if you strike all the tow truck drivers down with the plague or something. There is some background to this story: Last week my brother parked my other car near (not in, mind you) a tow away zone. I went to the scene, I saw the signs, the signs clearly marked where the tow away zone began and where it ended. But the greedy money-grubbing bastards towed my fucking car anyway. I had to drive sixty fucking miles, show up late to work, and pay $150 IN CASH to get the fucking thing out. And what do I find when I get there? Some asshole playing rainbow six on a PS2. I drove all the fuck way down here because over the phone you told me you were to "busy" to take my credit card to find your ass playing a fucking video game? I am going to kill them all, that's all there is to it. I am personally going to get a baseball bat with a nail in it and knock the brains out of every tow truck driver in the whole world. While I'm at it I'm going to kill their families, and all their friends, and everyone whoever knew them. Fuck all of them.
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