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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

People Who Piss Me Off pt. 4: Conservative Christians

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

No man knoweth the hour, dumbshit.

Hey, the Rapture didn't happen? No shit sherlock. Of course it didn't happen. Saturday May 21st came and went just like any other day. What the fuck did you think was gonna happen?

Maybe now that you've been burned once you morons won't be so quick to quit your jobs, sell your houses, and give your kid's college money to the asshole telling you these lies. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? Is that all it takes for me to get everything you own, to come up to you with a book and tell you the world is gonna end?

When are you fucking imbeciles gonna learn, there is no such thing as magic, no such thing as angels, or fairies, or zombies, or forest monsters, or demons, or healing crystals, or shadow people, or shape shifting reptilian overlords, or spirit animals, or mystical spirits, or any other such thing. Metaphysics is interesting bullshit. It's worth reading to see where your culture came from and what crazy people are thinking, but none of it should ever be believed, ever, even for an instant. NONE OF IT IS REAL. This includes the idea that our tiny ass little insignificant planet somehow is the most important place in a universe so incredibly vast that the human mind cannot comprehend how large it is, and that the creator of such a gigantic, vast, wondrous universe has a personal plan set up for YOU personally. If there is a God the last thing he would do is base the fate of the entire gigantic mind-bogglingly humongous universe on us. WE DO NOT MATTER in the vast scheme of things. Mankind will live, and mankind will die, and shit will go on for an eternity without us. Who knows, maybe walking radioactive carrots will inherit the Earth.

In the meantime, get a little fucking common sense, you stupid ass-Christians. The goddamn world is not going to end.

Jesus fucking wept.