1)Overpriced health food stores - Why is it when you go to a "healthy" grocery store like Whole Foods or Trader Joes, everything you buy is twice as small and costs three times as much? I can understand fruit and vegetables, but soap? Canned soup? Crackers? Screw these places.
2) Anti-trendy people who think they define the counter culture - The idea that the music you listen to or how you dress makes you "cool" is pretty lame, but some people never seem to outgrow this attitude. For example, everyone respects Marylin Manson for his highly intelligent views on various issues, yet no one will be caught dead actually listening to his music for fear of looking like a "poser." Same deal with these "pure" death metal people who refuse to listen to anything with electronic instruments (keyboards, samples, etc.) You would think most people would outgrow this baloney once they grow up and start working for a living, but they don't. Such hypocritical, immature, shallow, illogical bullshit. Like what you listen to means jack shit to anyone, or ever really did in the first place.
3) Women who get drunk and all flirty but the next day become all embarrassed and stand offish - If I didn't respect women like 99% of all other males out there I would probably get laid way more often.
4) Flash based web advertisements that open up and cover the whole screen - Since they're flash based they usually get past the pop-up blocker. Then they make the "X" to turn them off all small and in the wrong place, so half the time you accidentally click the ad itself and get redirected. There otta be a law.
5) People who parrot shit they read on reactionary blogs like it actually means something: So many examples of this, so many... One thing I hear all the time is that "Liberals lack substantive thought" in their arguments. What the hell do these bastards mean by this particular piece of doublespeak anyway? What, like a thought that "means nothing?" Bullshit. Here's what a non-substantive thought looks like:
khsdfk; lkadjfkljd ienfkn ke'ofieflds dkfasdlie Bitch.
In real life this term was first uttered by fat-ass conservative shitbag and drug addict Rush Limbaugh, and the fact that every two bit trailer trash racist out in Internet land repeats it over and over shows who's really lacking in substantive thought. Here's a substantive thought: Go fuck yourself.
6) When you wash your car and a bird shits on it the next day - I realise there is a problem when a random act of nature compels me to scream obscenities out loud to no one in particular, but goddammit I just washed this thing. Fucking birds.
7) When the girl you never stopped loving a few years back dumps her current boyfriend and comes back to visit and you know something could happen if you just had the chance, but then she goes back to northern California and gets another boyfriend within three weeks: You know, I've pretty much surrendered to the fact that I'll never ever be with this girl, but dammit it still sucks...
8) When all the collectibles you spent the last decade accumulating are practically worthless - I enjoy status in a small subspecies of geekdom, that of "collector" (or Comic book geek, whichever you prefer.) Right now I'm in the process of cleaning out all of my superfluous possessions (comics, games, etc.) It's astounding how much crap you can accumulate over a lifetime. However it seems like all the junk I want to get rid of is worthless, and the things I do have that are worth something happen to be things I want to hang onto for other reasons. You just can't win sometimes.
9) When you're the only one of your friends who has a real job: No one can hang out on Friday night because they're all working, and when they do have time off it's during regular business hours. No I can't go see your band perform at two in the afternoon on Tuesday. Can I help it if I work at a place that pays more than minimum wage?
10) Websites that redirect you back when you try to navigate away from them: Out of all the annoying shit out there in badly-designed website land I despise this the most. You all know what I'm talking about - You go to a web page, see that what you want is not there, then as you hit the back button the website automatically redirects you to their own home page, forcing you to either open a whole new browser window or rapidly hit the back button to try and get past it. I refuse to patronise any site with this bullshit feature, and anyone who implements it in their site deserves nothing less than death. Instant death in the most painful way imaginable.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Why do Christians love abortion?
Longtime readers of my little rants (as if there are such people. If you are one of them, I pity you) know how much I used to relish making fun of the Christians out there in wacky land. It's not just them, I enjoy persecuting overly religious people in general. However over the last few years I've somewhat relaxed a bit in my attitudes, if I really want people to live and let live, the best way to show it is by practicing it. Who am I to tell people what to believe, what right do I have to insult the beliefs of others?
And really, who gives a shit?
Well, they do, the Evangelical Christians. They give a lot of shits. And thus when two people argue and one gives a shit while the other doesn't, the one who does wins by default. Case in point, the recent Supreme Court decision to uphold the 2003 partial birth abortion ban. I'm sure all of you were paying attention to this, it's hard sometimes when the corporate tabloid news media is busy exploiting sensational school shooter stories to see that there are in fact other things going on in the world, some of which might be important.
I won't go over the rights and wrongs of partial birth abortion - or a second term abortion done during a time when a fetus is quickly approaching the age where it might, just maybe, be able to survive outside of the mother's body by being hooked up to all kinds of machines and shit and growing up all deformed into a self-conscious mentally ill adult who can't get over the fact that it's mother didn't want it. Believe what you want to believe, I'm not here to dispute that. But it just seems to me that the whole big stink over whether or not you should be allowed to kill your unborn child is a big time waster, an issue used to distract us from other important issues, and is, in fact, bullshit.
A little background here - When I was in utero the doctors found a cyst on one of my mother's ovaries. During the removal process there was a 50-50 chance that, in order to save the life of the mother, they may have had to abort the fetus, which was ME. Was it divine intervention that saved me? I would like to think so. But I also know it's just as likely that I simply got lucky. When your birth had the same chance of success as the results of a coin toss it tends to put this issue into perspective for you. I am glad I was born, but also I would not blame my mother for aborting me if her life was threatened. Would you throw yourself in front of a train to save your mother? Some people would, some people would not. If you're one of the people who is not an asshole and actually would save your mother then by logical extension you must be in favor of abortion. When that decision comes, your life or your unborn child's, you cannot blame anyone for choosing to preserve themselves. Yes it would be nice if everyone was selfless, but that's some other planet. On planet Earth self preservation comes first, then preservation of your offspring.
I would just like to add that there does not have to be an actual risk of death for a pregnancy to threaten the mother's life. Having a kid can not just be inconvenient, it can thoroughly destroy your life in a very real sense. Is it right to ask a woman to turn her entire life around, put her aspirations and dreams on hold (possibly forever,) and force her to take on unwanted responsibility? What if the kid is 16, is it right to force her to carry the child and possibility destroy her entire existence in the process? How many of you women out there has this happened to? Yeah, I'm sure you love your children and wouldn't want it any other way. But there is that feeling that your life may have been vastly different if you made a different decision. Can you truly blame someone for making that choice?
Oh, you religious people don't think so? You think when the time comes to make this choice you'll selflessly stand up and choose to go through with it, even though the pregnancy may potentially kill or ruin you? Bullshit. Let's just look at a few statistics here (because once again, some of you dumbasses don't believe anything without a number behind it.) According to this site (The Center For Bioethical Reform, which is an Anti-abortion site, in case any of you think I'm being biased here) it looks like 37% of abortions are obtained by protestants and 31% by Catholics, and 18% by Evangelicals. If we combine these three groups under the umbrella of "Christians," which is what they are, that brings the total to 86%. Thus Christian women, the people who are telling us all not to get abortions, are in fact the people who get the vast majority of actual abortions. So what does this mean exactly? It means that going to church, voting Republican, and believing in God doesn't stop people from fucking. So apparently you're all just talk, because when it comes down to it most of you go "pro-choice" in an instant. You don't like the fact that people kill their unborn children, fine. Stop getting fucking abortions then. And don't go around saying it's the Godless atheist people who need help, because according to that very same site only 23% of women who get abortions describe themselves as such, way less than you religious people. Just another example of you hypocritical double-speaking bastards trying to force behavior on us that you don't follow yourselves.
They also say 43% of all women in the USA will have one by age 45. Hmmm... I've got a feeling that number should be up there towards 80%. Chances are you know two or three women who have had one, even a few in your very own family. Truth is we'll probably never know the exact numbers because of the damn stigma you religious people out there insist of attaching to abortion many women out there keep it a secret. Remember the only people who give a shit about this is YOU (the religious people,) you're the ones walking around holding the signs with the dead babies on them and throwing blood on people. Thanks a lot for all the fucking shame you assholes. Way to kick an emotionally defenseless woman when she's down. And you wonder why Church attendance is on the wane across the nation.
The truth is you can't stop it. Women have always done it, and they always will, whether it's legal or not. By making it illegal all you will do is force it underground and possibly ruin a few more lives in the process. Why do you think you religious people get so much opposition to all of your little political pet projects? Because it seems like everything you people are into, everything you want the rest of us to follow, anti-abortion, anti-gay rights, pro-blowing up the middle east, anti-environment, all of it seems to be directly involved in making life miserable for everyone. Well fuck that, we don't want to be miserable. We want to live in the land of the fucking free, where we don't have to listen to people like that, where we get to do what we fucking want, whenever we fucking feel like it. Isn't that what being FREE is all about, doing what you want when you feel like it? So stop standing in the way of freedom. Live how you want, make your own choice. We will leave you alone as long as you don't stick your hypocritical nose in our business.
Like that will ever happen.
And really, who gives a shit?
Well, they do, the Evangelical Christians. They give a lot of shits. And thus when two people argue and one gives a shit while the other doesn't, the one who does wins by default. Case in point, the recent Supreme Court decision to uphold the 2003 partial birth abortion ban. I'm sure all of you were paying attention to this, it's hard sometimes when the corporate tabloid news media is busy exploiting sensational school shooter stories to see that there are in fact other things going on in the world, some of which might be important.
I won't go over the rights and wrongs of partial birth abortion - or a second term abortion done during a time when a fetus is quickly approaching the age where it might, just maybe, be able to survive outside of the mother's body by being hooked up to all kinds of machines and shit and growing up all deformed into a self-conscious mentally ill adult who can't get over the fact that it's mother didn't want it. Believe what you want to believe, I'm not here to dispute that. But it just seems to me that the whole big stink over whether or not you should be allowed to kill your unborn child is a big time waster, an issue used to distract us from other important issues, and is, in fact, bullshit.
A little background here - When I was in utero the doctors found a cyst on one of my mother's ovaries. During the removal process there was a 50-50 chance that, in order to save the life of the mother, they may have had to abort the fetus, which was ME. Was it divine intervention that saved me? I would like to think so. But I also know it's just as likely that I simply got lucky. When your birth had the same chance of success as the results of a coin toss it tends to put this issue into perspective for you. I am glad I was born, but also I would not blame my mother for aborting me if her life was threatened. Would you throw yourself in front of a train to save your mother? Some people would, some people would not. If you're one of the people who is not an asshole and actually would save your mother then by logical extension you must be in favor of abortion. When that decision comes, your life or your unborn child's, you cannot blame anyone for choosing to preserve themselves. Yes it would be nice if everyone was selfless, but that's some other planet. On planet Earth self preservation comes first, then preservation of your offspring.
I would just like to add that there does not have to be an actual risk of death for a pregnancy to threaten the mother's life. Having a kid can not just be inconvenient, it can thoroughly destroy your life in a very real sense. Is it right to ask a woman to turn her entire life around, put her aspirations and dreams on hold (possibly forever,) and force her to take on unwanted responsibility? What if the kid is 16, is it right to force her to carry the child and possibility destroy her entire existence in the process? How many of you women out there has this happened to? Yeah, I'm sure you love your children and wouldn't want it any other way. But there is that feeling that your life may have been vastly different if you made a different decision. Can you truly blame someone for making that choice?
Oh, you religious people don't think so? You think when the time comes to make this choice you'll selflessly stand up and choose to go through with it, even though the pregnancy may potentially kill or ruin you? Bullshit. Let's just look at a few statistics here (because once again, some of you dumbasses don't believe anything without a number behind it.) According to this site (The Center For Bioethical Reform, which is an Anti-abortion site, in case any of you think I'm being biased here) it looks like 37% of abortions are obtained by protestants and 31% by Catholics, and 18% by Evangelicals. If we combine these three groups under the umbrella of "Christians," which is what they are, that brings the total to 86%. Thus Christian women, the people who are telling us all not to get abortions, are in fact the people who get the vast majority of actual abortions. So what does this mean exactly? It means that going to church, voting Republican, and believing in God doesn't stop people from fucking. So apparently you're all just talk, because when it comes down to it most of you go "pro-choice" in an instant. You don't like the fact that people kill their unborn children, fine. Stop getting fucking abortions then. And don't go around saying it's the Godless atheist people who need help, because according to that very same site only 23% of women who get abortions describe themselves as such, way less than you religious people. Just another example of you hypocritical double-speaking bastards trying to force behavior on us that you don't follow yourselves.
They also say 43% of all women in the USA will have one by age 45. Hmmm... I've got a feeling that number should be up there towards 80%. Chances are you know two or three women who have had one, even a few in your very own family. Truth is we'll probably never know the exact numbers because of the damn stigma you religious people out there insist of attaching to abortion many women out there keep it a secret. Remember the only people who give a shit about this is YOU (the religious people,) you're the ones walking around holding the signs with the dead babies on them and throwing blood on people. Thanks a lot for all the fucking shame you assholes. Way to kick an emotionally defenseless woman when she's down. And you wonder why Church attendance is on the wane across the nation.
The truth is you can't stop it. Women have always done it, and they always will, whether it's legal or not. By making it illegal all you will do is force it underground and possibly ruin a few more lives in the process. Why do you think you religious people get so much opposition to all of your little political pet projects? Because it seems like everything you people are into, everything you want the rest of us to follow, anti-abortion, anti-gay rights, pro-blowing up the middle east, anti-environment, all of it seems to be directly involved in making life miserable for everyone. Well fuck that, we don't want to be miserable. We want to live in the land of the fucking free, where we don't have to listen to people like that, where we get to do what we fucking want, whenever we fucking feel like it. Isn't that what being FREE is all about, doing what you want when you feel like it? So stop standing in the way of freedom. Live how you want, make your own choice. We will leave you alone as long as you don't stick your hypocritical nose in our business.
Like that will ever happen.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Somebody Else's Problem at Virgina Tech
You know, we all talk a lot of shit on a day to day basis. In any particular conversation, any one of us may say something to the effect of "I am going to kill the next person who blah blah blah--" or "I hate that guy so much I'm going to fucking blow his brains out," etc. Violent idioms are a common part of our language. On a daily basis we bombard ourselves with violent imagery, we watch incredibly violent movies, play video games where people get run over, eaten by hideous monsters, shot in the face, etc, and of course the nightly news is filled with the effects of violence in our lives and society. But when something like this massacre occurs we still get pretty horrified at it, we still can't understand how and exactly why someone would do such a thing.
The resulting media firestorm from this tragedy reminds me a lot of Micheal Moore's 2002 film Bowling for Columbine, so I watched it with this latest event in mind. If you haven't seen it lately you can basically take the word Columbine out and put Virginia Tech in, it relates rather well to the situation at hand. In the film Moore asks why exactly this type of thing happens here in the United States and not in other countries that have similar violent histories, exploitative media, crime, poverty, and repressed youth that we have here. Besides falling just short of calling America fundamentally fucked up He doesn't really come up with an answer. Whenever something like this happens nobody seems to know.
Well, I'll tell you what the problem is. There is a really good reason why we get things like school massacres and random acts of extreme violence here, and this is it: It's becasue compassion has no place in America. Our society rewards people who take what they want no matter who gets hurt. To us, if you're poor or disadvantaged, then somehow that's your fault. It's that cutthroat competitive undercurrent that drives everything we do, that we can look at a starving guy sleeping next to a dumpster and not give a shit, we can drive to our jobs and shop at the stupid mall while the fruits of our economy go to killing people half a world away.
What, you don't think people are this heartless? How many times have you heard someone complain about homeless people, the "Don't give them money" speech when you see a guy begging with a cardboard sign. How many of you have thought that yourselves? I have; I've walked by a dirty bum and been repulsed by him. We all have. It's in our nature. The travesty that we allow people to live like that in the first place doesn't even enter our minds. It's Somebody Else's Problem, and even if I want to do something about it I can't, so fuck it. It's who we are as a nation, don't try to deny it.
We live blissfully ignorant of the true evil that goes on around us on a daily basis. It's not just poor and oppressed people. It's in the extremely superficial way we treat each other. What was wrong with Cho Seung-Hui, what was it that made him flip out and kill all those people? He had no friends. I know it and I don't even have to read the stupid news reports. He had no friends and probably got fucked with all the time, probably hadn't gotten laid in quite a while, probably had the idea that he was going to end up washing other people's clothes just like his parents, just had no hope that anything in his pathetic life would change, ever. Because that's the same problem that ALL of these people have whenever something like this happens, but you're never going to hear about it becasue the news people always gloss over this particular angle of the story.
Our society crushes itself and by extension crushes the individual, or a better way of putting it, in order to survive in such a socitey the individual must adapt by banding together and crushing others. In such a society someone always looses. Once Cho was branded a "loser" by his peers he never had a chance. Truth is most of us are able to weather this effect. At a national level our society may be sick beyond repair, but at a microcosmic level we Americans do a pretty good job of comming together. Our communities are probably more tightly knit than anywhere else in the world. But this example shows that there are some people who slip through the cracks. When "losers" get desperate and get a hold of guns, this is what happens, because nobody cares about them.
You know, all it takes to stop this kind of shit is to try being nice to people for a change, stop living in fear of everything, and quit assuming that everyone who doesn't look like you is going to kill or rob you. Fat chance of that happening. So every couple of years expect to see another random shooting, another misplaced tragic massacre, becasue it's who we are, as a people. It's my fault, it's our fault, so own up to it because it's your fault too. Is there anything we can do about it? I don't know. For now it'll probably continue to be Somebody Else's Problem
The resulting media firestorm from this tragedy reminds me a lot of Micheal Moore's 2002 film Bowling for Columbine, so I watched it with this latest event in mind. If you haven't seen it lately you can basically take the word Columbine out and put Virginia Tech in, it relates rather well to the situation at hand. In the film Moore asks why exactly this type of thing happens here in the United States and not in other countries that have similar violent histories, exploitative media, crime, poverty, and repressed youth that we have here. Besides falling just short of calling America fundamentally fucked up He doesn't really come up with an answer. Whenever something like this happens nobody seems to know.
Well, I'll tell you what the problem is. There is a really good reason why we get things like school massacres and random acts of extreme violence here, and this is it: It's becasue compassion has no place in America. Our society rewards people who take what they want no matter who gets hurt. To us, if you're poor or disadvantaged, then somehow that's your fault. It's that cutthroat competitive undercurrent that drives everything we do, that we can look at a starving guy sleeping next to a dumpster and not give a shit, we can drive to our jobs and shop at the stupid mall while the fruits of our economy go to killing people half a world away.
What, you don't think people are this heartless? How many times have you heard someone complain about homeless people, the "Don't give them money" speech when you see a guy begging with a cardboard sign. How many of you have thought that yourselves? I have; I've walked by a dirty bum and been repulsed by him. We all have. It's in our nature. The travesty that we allow people to live like that in the first place doesn't even enter our minds. It's Somebody Else's Problem, and even if I want to do something about it I can't, so fuck it. It's who we are as a nation, don't try to deny it.
We live blissfully ignorant of the true evil that goes on around us on a daily basis. It's not just poor and oppressed people. It's in the extremely superficial way we treat each other. What was wrong with Cho Seung-Hui, what was it that made him flip out and kill all those people? He had no friends. I know it and I don't even have to read the stupid news reports. He had no friends and probably got fucked with all the time, probably hadn't gotten laid in quite a while, probably had the idea that he was going to end up washing other people's clothes just like his parents, just had no hope that anything in his pathetic life would change, ever. Because that's the same problem that ALL of these people have whenever something like this happens, but you're never going to hear about it becasue the news people always gloss over this particular angle of the story.
Our society crushes itself and by extension crushes the individual, or a better way of putting it, in order to survive in such a socitey the individual must adapt by banding together and crushing others. In such a society someone always looses. Once Cho was branded a "loser" by his peers he never had a chance. Truth is most of us are able to weather this effect. At a national level our society may be sick beyond repair, but at a microcosmic level we Americans do a pretty good job of comming together. Our communities are probably more tightly knit than anywhere else in the world. But this example shows that there are some people who slip through the cracks. When "losers" get desperate and get a hold of guns, this is what happens, because nobody cares about them.
You know, all it takes to stop this kind of shit is to try being nice to people for a change, stop living in fear of everything, and quit assuming that everyone who doesn't look like you is going to kill or rob you. Fat chance of that happening. So every couple of years expect to see another random shooting, another misplaced tragic massacre, becasue it's who we are, as a people. It's my fault, it's our fault, so own up to it because it's your fault too. Is there anything we can do about it? I don't know. For now it'll probably continue to be Somebody Else's Problem
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Ten Things I Fucking Hate Part 9
(Originally Posted On Hawanja.com on 12/3/06)
1) People who use the off ramp lane to cut ahead of you in traffic - What the fuck is your problem? Where is it that's so important you have to be by weaving in and out of traffic like a psychopath? In the meantime you put my fucking life in danger to shave two and a half nanoseconds. Ridiculous.
2) People who treat the next big game system like it's the second coming of Christ - You seen these videos of people rioting to get a stupid Playstation 3? People getting trampled, even shot in some instances? Goddamn people, it's a fucking GAME SYSTEM! You play fucking video games on it! It's not like your heart is gonna explode if you don't get one at 12:01 a.m. on fucking release day! They'll have some more next week, chill the fuck out already. God people are stupid.
3) People who take too much damn salsa - You've seen these assholes, you go into a Baja Fresh or other Mexican-type restaurant where they have the salsa bar and there's always some gluttonous bastard who has to take like 17 cups of the shit. You gonna eat that all yourself you fat fuck? Look, I know they're giving the stuff away free but Jesus people, don't fucking over do it. Same thing when people take all the sugar and Equal packets at a burger joint. It's not like salt and sugar are precious fucking commodities. Do you people even use this stuff? Or are you taking it just to be an asshole? Why do people do shit like this, because it's "Free?" Next person I see filling up a Sparklets bottle with free salsa gets a free foot in their ass.
4) Ann Coulter - Do people actually take this dried up cuntbag seriously? First time I heard of her was a few years ago in connection to an article where someone witnessed a practice run by terrorists in an airplane, apparently there were men getting up and assembling a bomb in the bathroom. Too bad the whole story turned out to be complete bullshit but it did get her on the media map for real. Now she's become yet another right-wing bag of wacky nuts, always shouting how "liberals" are destroying our democracy. After the last election in which the Republicans got ass-stomped this woman advocated bringing back the poll tax. Yeah that's democracy for ya.
5) DVDs that don't say they are full screen on the front cover - You buy a brand spanking new copy of some cool movie you've wanted to see for a long time only to get it home and find out it's been given the fucking pan-and-scan treatment. It cuts off half the damn screen, when I pay $19.95 for a new damn movie I expect to see the whole fucking thing. Why are they still making movies like this? Because some old lady out there is too cheap to buy a new TV? So I gotta suffer because of one small segment of the population that is afraid to adapt to new technology? Then you try to take it back to the store but they refuse to exchange it because it's an open item. Fucking bullshit.
6) When the girl you used to love a few years ago and who you thought really loved you but moved off to northern California with another guy dumps her fiance, but stays in northern California while her Ex moves back to your town instead of the other way around - Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself. It just sucks.
7) People who think Star Wars is real: It's a movie people, it's make believe, it's not real life. Just because you walk around in a robe doesn't mean the government has to officially recognize you as a Jedi. Sad thing is I'm not making this shit up.
8) When you accidently cut a tonail just a little too deep - Ouch.
9) When some greedy fucking asshole drinks all the coffee in the break room and doesn't make any more - I now work in an office for a fortune 500 company (in the lowest paid position there is, but what the hell. At least I'm not slinging a cash register anymore.) Like most offices for companies that are not completely evil they supply free coffee for their subjects. But without fail at 9:00 every morning somebody drinks all of the fucking coffee and just leaves the empty pot sizzling there. How much time does it take to throw a new pot of coffee on? Like two and a half seconds. Have some common decency, the stupid end of the month reports can wait. I cannot function in this corporate hellhole job without a steady supply of liquid stimulant. Not only that, they also leave sugar and coffee creamer all over the counter. Clean that shit up dammit! If you leave sugar laying around we're gonna get ANTS up in here!
10) Sony, the entire fucking company and everyone in it - Last year I said Fuck Sony because they gave us a raw deal with the PSP. Now it seems Sony is full of so many greedy fucking scumbags they just sued small time Hong Kong importer Lik-Sang out of existence. I just happened to be a Lik-Sang affiliate. So in addition to making them look like assholes, Sony shutting them down has also personally cost me money in lost referrals and time as now I have to remove all the affiliate links from my pages. Thanks a lot fucking Sony. Let me show you how much I care by buying the new Nintendo system instead of your overpriced piece of shit this Christmas.
YOU LOSE ASSHOLES! HA! HA! HA!
(Originally Posted on Hawanja.com on 11/08/06)
Rick Santorum (R - PA) and his family are pissed off that people vote.
My GOD that election ruled! You conservative fuckers didn't just lose, you got your asses kicked, stomped, pounded, trashed, fucked up beyond all recognition! Let's just take a look at the numbers:
| Republicans | Democrats | Independents | |
Senate | 49 | 49 | 2 |
House | 201 | 234 | 0 |
Governorships | 16 | 20 | 0 |
Well shit, I guess you can't a bigger asswhippin' than that huh? Goddamn I love this; For SIX YEARS I've had to listen to people calling me names, calling me a pussy, calling me a traitor, because I am able to see though the bullshit this cadre of former oligarchs feed the public and I had the audacity to tell people so on my little website. Now it seems I'm in the majority, hmmmm.... well you know what? This is a democracy, and in a fucking democracy THE MAJORITY RULES!
And it's about fucking time I might add. All of the leftist loonies like me are sitting around today patting themselves on the back for a job well done (and they deserve it,) but may I ask where the fuck have you people have been all this time? We've had two other opportunities to pull this coup in the 2002 and 2004 elections, did you people just decide to sit those elections out? Or could it be that you all had to wait until shit got so ridiculously bad that you couldn't take it anymore?
I have no illusions about this victory; I know that the Democrats didn't win this election, the Republicans lost. This election is about throwing the scandal ridden-thieves out of power and for the most part the new thieves that have taken their place don't have that much better of a track record. It's just sickening to see that it takes things to get as bad as they are before people finally turn off American Idol long enough to notice. I mean come on people! We've got two hopeless wars going on that are sucking away our Gross National Product while at the same time hospitals are closing all over the country. We've got a planet turning into a radioactive waste dump under our feet, the fucking oceans are dying, you won't be able to eat any fish in forty years because there fucking won't be any, the goddamn hole in the ozone layer is the size of the United States for crying out loud, the fucking icecaps are melting so fast that various countries are fighting over shipping lanes in the Arctic, we have countries in the Middle East scrambling to build nuclear bombs in part to defend themselves from US, yet at the same time we're supposed to be fighting international terrorism by invading the one secular Middle Eastern country that actually suppressed such terrorism, our fucking Bill Of Rights is in the goddamn toilet.. all of this has been going on for years, and just now people are starting to realize it. Well better late then never I suppose. Let this be a lesson to you America, shit does not just go away when you turn the channel. At least now there's hope for the first time in six years, hope that this Neoconservative nightmare can finally come to an end and we can start putting the country and the world back together again.
Of course all of my conservative wack-job comedy generators out there in internet land don't think so. Shit, the Fox News website doesn't even have the national totals up on their site, as if by hiding this information they can prevent the shitcanning of their heroes. The mood around the various conservative boards I frequent to taunt people is of general defeat, denial, and rage. More than once I've heard "Get ready for the next terrorist attack," like somehow just electing a Democrat is going to cause a bomb to spontaneously generate in the White House.
Fucking crybabies.
I could take it easy on you all, be a "Fair winner," but FUCK THAT. For six years I've had to listen to you conservative assholes lie to yourselves and push your bullshit down my throat. No longer, it's payback time.
Sucks living in a democracy, huh?
My Country is a Fucking Mess
(Originally Posted on Hawanja.com on 10/2/06)
You know, There was a time not too long ago when people actually paid attention to what was going on around them. And when things happened that pushed people too far (taking away their rights for instance) people died defending them. Everyone talks about our forefathers like they're some kind of God-like people in remote ancient history who all got along fine, sat down, and rationally thought out our system of government. Not true; The revolutionary war only happened two hundred years ago and popular revolts were extremely common.
So what the fuck happened? People today are brainless ignorant greedy consumer bastards who only care about how much they can take. Plus today people are fucking pussies, unable and unwilling to stand up to authority. The Farmer's revolt, the Civil War (and the New York Civil war draft riots they don't teach you about in school,) hell, even the fucking Hippies had more balls than we do. How did we go from "Give me liberty or give me death" to "Must see TV" in such a short period of time?
What, you may ask, is my problem this week? Habeas Corpus: That basic human right that a prisoner has the right to see the evidence against him. This is from English common law all the way back in the 12th century. In case you weren't paying attention this week the Senate has just passed a bill ( Senate bill S. 3930 ) which not only makes the whole keeping-people-indefinetly-without-a-real-trial-thing okay, but also severely restricts any persons subject to such military tribunals as the bill allows to defend themselves. Imagine you've been held in jail for FIVE YEARS, and when they finally let you have a trial you're not even allowed to see the evidence that is supposed to prove your guilt. Yeah, this is America.
If that's not enough for you, the bill also pretty much destroys the efforts of Senator John McCain's anti-torture bill, because now it's all legal. Add to this McCain voted for the fucking thing. Good job there senator, up until recently you were the one Republican I actually trusted. Thanks asshole. Way to cave into your handlers.
So Bush and his cronies started gettin' scared that they might be held accountable for all the illegal shit they've done in the last few years, so they simply changed the law and gave themselves a get out of jail free card. Hmmm... you would think this would be headline news, at least. Recently I've been without cable TV, so I couldn't check the networks. But a quick search on MSNBC.com, Foxnews.com, CNN.com, etc. showed NOT ONE FUCKING WORD about this story. A search on any of those sites for Senate bill S. 3930 returns the same pansy-ass misleading fluff A. P. story piece I saw in the local paper. I can only assume their televised networks followed suit.
What I do see on the front page of all three of those major news media sites is (lo and behold) the EXACT SAME STORIES. What's the most important thing to happen in Washington on Oct 2nd, 2006? It's the lurid emails that ex- Senator Mark Foley sent to an underage male intern. Yeah, that's important.
I did find info on S. 3930 on the home page of the BBC News. I just don't understand why I have to go to a news outlet hosted in another fucking country to find out what's really going on in my own. It's goddamned disgraceful!
Am I the only one who notices that stuff like this only appears in the news when there are other more important stories going on? In the 90's we saw this all the time, like when Clinton admitted in the 60's the CIA purposely released radioactive particles into the atmosphere over American cities so they could study the spread of fallout in case of a atomic war (thus causing who knows how many thousands of cases of cancer) on the same day as the O.J. Simpson verdict. Seems like the Bush people learned the lesson rather well: You got a story potentially damaging that could cause some real revolt? Leak a good senate sex scandal, nice way of diverting attention. And the fucking media bites every goddamn time, like clockwork. Then you wonder why people believe in X-Files type illuminati conspiracy theories.
Yeah, it's ok as long as it's terrorists, right? Who gives a shit if innocent people might be sitting there in Guantanamo bay, too bad, they were in the wrong place in the wrong time. Let me clue you people in on something: YOU ARE NEXT. If you let them get away with this they'll take a little more, then take a little more, then take it all. Why is it these people rotting away in Cuba aren't afforded the same protections any other federal prisoner is? It's not like any of them are gonna get off easy. Wait, they're terrorists, right? They don't deserve American protections, right? Well Timothy McVeigh was a fucking terrorist, he got a fucking trial. And he got the death penalty too, so don't go telling me giving these people a trial will get them off. The blind sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman set off a bomb in the World Trade Center in 1993, he got a trial, and he got convicted. Zacarias fucking Moussaoui got a fucking trial, I don't see his ass walking the street. So don't tell me they need to do this to put these people away, because they don't.
Is there anyone out there who isn't a highly paid right wing media pundit who still supports these people? How can any of you see this going on and still think these people are doing the right thing? They went to war on fake evidence. They let Osama get away. The fucking Taliban is BACK, they control over half of fucking Afghanistan. Fucking Iraq is in a goddamn civil war and they still don't want to leave. 400 billion dollars so far and every single one of the objectives that matter have failed. We now routinely torture people and hold them without charge, and now Congress has said that's okay, no problem with us. And STILL you fucking people vote for them! What the hell is it gonna take? Oh wait, one of them has to be gay, then he's out of there. Maybe I'm not supposed to understand.
You conservative assholes out there: Check the record. Everything the progressive left opposition has said would happen has come to pass. You people are living in denial of the worst kind. But this isn't the regular my-life-is-a-lie denial that we secretly laugh at, this is destructive denial. And when the shit hits the fan and they finally take over for real, when the storm troopers are running through the streets shooting school teachers and executing anyone with a college education, guess who's gonna get it first, them, or you?
This shit makes my fucking head hurt.
Ten Things I Fucking Hate Part 8
(Originally Posted on Hawanja.com on 12/15/05)
1. Assholes with loud motorcycles: I've got nothing in particular against bikers per se, because personally I think the bad-ass biker thing is pretty cool. It's those dickheads who ride around like dumbasses for no other reason than to show how LOUD their bike is that piss me off. You all know the scenario: You're with your friends of family at a cafe patio or restaurant or something, just trying to eat and have a good time, until some fucking jerk revs up his penis-crutch all loud and shit, totally destroying the atmosphere and forcing you to shout all loud and everything. The guy blares it on, then revs it two or three times, totally drowning out all other sound, then peels out stroking his dick as he scoots away. Then you look at his ass and can't help but notice what a shiny and expensive motorcycle this individual has. It's an attention getter for middle aged men who haven't got any pussy in years to make themselves feel cool. Real fucking bikers could give a shit about who notices them driving down the street. I have no patience for people and the crap they do to booster their egos. Fuck them.
2. People who excessively complain at work: Okay, I realize everyone complains about their jobs. In all of my old jobs I didn't mind this so much as frankly they were all kack restaurant/clerk/serving the public type jobs, and they all blew ass. But my current job is the best job ever. I play fucking video games for a living. Yet people still bitch and moan even about that.
Bottom line is this: You don't like your job? Then leave. Nobody is making your ass stay there. I got tired of mopping floors and cleaning fucking toilets, so I left. Now I don't complain. The minute my awesome game testing job turns sour I'll get another one. So shut the fuck up and get to work.
3. People who never have their own cigarettes: You've always got that one friend/co-worker/family member who never has his own fucking cigarettes. When the smoke break rolls around they show up, like clockwork. This person may usually be very generous when they have smokes. Problem is they never, ever, ever do. These things cost like five bucks a pack now. Get your own.
4. Shifty gas stations: Since the price of gas has skyrocketed over the last few months it seems like every single gas station I go to rips me off, without fail. My car has a ten gallon tank. I get gas when I get below an 8th of a tank. That means I should have 1+ gallons left. But every fucking gas station I've been to in the last four months rips me off a dollar or so. A few cents from each person can equal thousands of dollars for the gas station. Fucking bullshit.
5. Itunes:
Apple: Hey, we made it illegal to download music so we could force you to buy the same music but at a crappier quality, plus we control what devices and media players you can use to listen to said music on and how many times you can burn it. We do all this because we can.
Me: Fuck Itunes.
6: Cherehonkees: White middle aged people who pretend they're Native American. I'm like 1/87th Indian myself but I don't walk around wearing a headdress or living in a wampum. You ridicule the cultural identity you profess to hold sacred.
7. People who leave like ten tons of garbage all over the floors of their cars: The guy who eats fast food and stuff and just throws the wrappers on the floor, then they give you a ride and you've got to bury your feet in the shit. God-Damn, clean your stupid car out once in a while.
8. The Mazda "Zoom Zoom Zoom" song: I will never, ever, ever buy a car from these people, just because of that song.
9. People who get all defensive when you insult their favorite band/music/movies/TV shows/Video games: If you are so pathetic that the crap you own, listen to, or watch for entertainment makes up so much of your identity that you actually get angry when someone else expresses a negative opinion of it, then you are beyond help, and should just stop breathing. If what you own defines who you are then you are nothing worth owning. Get bent.
10: Courtroom TV shows: Freak shows for the modern era, featuring the most fucked up people in existence getting yelled at by some stuck up bitch with an attitude. Where do they find these people who willingly expose their pathetic lives to such ridicule? It's TV for rednecks, and it should be destroyed. Anyone who likes these shows is lame.
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